Aiden: Mommy, I beating you! I ate my dinner faster than you! I'm the beatest!!
[Aiden and I are playing with his wooden bowling set and I, of course, am letting him win]
Mommy: Hey, it's my turn to bowl!
Aiden: No, Mama, you aren't good enough. You can't bowl anymore.
[On our way to church]
Aiden: I want to go see Jesus Rock Stars (the band at church) before I go to children's church. Then I see Stella.
Mommy: Aiden, Stella isn't at church today. She's visiting her grandparents in Kentucky.
Mommy: Remember when you went to stay with Gran and Gramps by yourself? Stella is doing that with her grandparents.
Aiden: I go to Kentucky, Mama. I stay with Stella.
Aiden: Where you going tomorrow, Mama?
Mommy: I'm going to get a haircut.
Aiden: I don't want you to get a haircut!
Aiden: You go to the haircut place like daddy goes to?
Mommy: No, I'm not going to Daddy's barber shop. (Aiden went there once and was terrified).
Aiden: You go to my haircut place? You get to ride in a fire truck?
Mommy: No, I go to a special hair salon for girls.
Aiden: They have Spiderman game there like at my haircut place?
Mommy: No, my hair salon isn't that cool.
Aiden: What games do they have there?
Mommy: They don't have games, buddy. Girls just go there and sit around and read girl magazines and talk to each other.
Aiden: My haircut place is cool. It's for boys. Not girls. I don't want you to get a haircut, Mommy. I like your hair long. Maybe I cry if you get a haircut.
Mommy: It's OK, buddy. Mommy's hair will still be long enough for you to play with. Not short like yours. Mommy's just hot with all of this hair. Is that OK?
Aiden: (Sounding like a teenager) OK....
[Then today, when I picked him up from school with my new 'do:]
Aiden: Mommy, you got your hair cut!
Mommy: Yep. Do you like it?
Aiden: Yeah! It's still long! I not crying at all!
[After getting in trouble, Aiden has to apologize for his bad behavior. After yelling no and arguing with me, he had to go to the naughty spot (his time out rug) for being disrespectful.]
Mommy: OK, Aiden, why did you have to go to the naughty spot?
Aiden: For being mis-a-dis-refect-able.
(Now I just love to hear him say that word!)
[Aiden walks in the living room with his pants and underwear off]
Mommy: Aiden, what are you doing?
Aiden: I gonna get you, mommy! I stick my penis in your face! I pee pee in your nose!
Mommy: No way! Pants on, Mister!
Aiden's favorite restaurants: Hama Bups=Bahama Bucks, a shaved iced stand; and Pitch-o-lay=Chipotle, also known as the "Spicy Taco restaurant" when he can't manage to get his tongue around "chipotle"