Today is just one of those days, where I wake up and feel like I just don't have the strength, emotionally or physically, to get through the day. I've been on the verge of tears since I woke up. And it isn't just the fact that I'm now overdue that's got me down (although that's not exactly improving my disposition)--its a whole conglomeration of things that just suck right now and have me worried about our family's future.
Today, I just can't do all of the stuff I try so hard to juggle every day--I can't be the patient mom who handles her son's constant whining and tantrums with grace. I can't be the cheerleader that my husband needs right now as he's going through a difficult time. I can't be the put-together woman who keeps her house clean, manages the household, takes care of the finances, and keeps everyone fed and in clean clothes. I can't be the one who plasters on a smile and a positive, joking outlook about her pregnancy despite the fact that she feels like she's been kicked in the stomach from the contractions that have been coming at 10 minute intervals for DAYS now. So instead, I'm just trying to get through the day one minute at a time, without dissolving into tears and scaring my poor son to death. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day, it always is. A decent night's sleep after a long bath can bring a lot of perspective about how small my problems really are. But right now, I'm just gutting my way through, with God at my side, praying that He gets me through the day, one long minute at a time.