Aiden is in soccer this fall, and so after a great practice, we were sitting at the dinner table talking.
Mommy: You are just a natural at soccer, buddy. I guess you take after your mom.
Mommy: I used to play soccer when I was in high school, so you got my soccer genes.
Aiden: (looks down at his pants) No, Mommy, these are MY soccer 'genes,' NOT YOURS!
You know, before you have children, there are things you just NEVER expect to say. Like, "Aiden, we don't play with our private parts at the dinner table." "Aiden, get your butt out of your sister's face." "Aubrey, no eating the dog food--yucky!" But I think this one takes the cake.
Aiden had just gotten out of the shower and was wrapped up in his towel. I called him into Aubrey's room to tell her goodnight and sing our nightly song. Brad had squatted down in front of Aubrey, who was sitting on my lap, when Aiden came over and climbed onto his shoulders--naked. I looked at Brad, who had this tortured look on his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"There is just nothing grosser than the feeling of a cold, flaccid penis on the back of your neck," he said.
I about fell out of the chair, laughing. Finally, when I could breathe, I told Aiden, "Climb down, I don't think daddy likes having your penis squished onto the back of his neck." Never thought THAT would end up as a quote from my mouth!