Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Second Wife

Did you know I was in a plural marriage? Yep, I know, you are shocked. Wanna hear the real kicker?? I share my husband with a man...named Uncle Sam.

Like all wives in a plural marriage must, lately I have felt quite jealous of this other spouse that is horning in on my relationship. Uncle Sam keeps hogging my man and I am PISSED! I just got Brad back from spending 4 months with Uncle Sam. It was a long and lonely and stressful fall. Brad got home just in time for Thanksgiving--and I was supposed to have him all to myself through the holidays until April, but that stinking Uncle Sam keeps stealing him away. A week-long course back in Kansas. A couple of days away here and there. A 2-week training exercise here on post that kept him out of the house 20 hours of the day. And now Sam is stealing him for a whole week in D.C. this week and a couple of days in Tampa next week. Jeez, how selfish can that dude be?

Uncle Sam will have Brad all to himself once the end of April rolls around--for an entire YEAR! Do you know that since I married Brad, he's never spent a whole year with me without some darned interruption by that stupid Sam?? Can't Sam just wait a little longer before he wraps his grubby paws on my dear husband?

I know I shouldn't complain--I knew that Brad and Uncle Sam were bound to one another when I said "I do," but it doesn't change the fact that Sam's ability to change all of our plans, to dictate where and when we move, to steal my husband away at a moment's notice is just plain aggravating. It sucks, knowing that although my husband loves me and our children more than anything else on this planet, the demands of someone else will always come first. 

And then there are all these people on the news, members of the public, politicians and government leaders who seem to jump at any chance to send my husband back to Sam. Problems in Libya, problems in Yemen, a quake in Japan, Egypt's government crumbling--hey, let Uncle Sam get involved! He's got missiles and bombs and guns and plenty of men and women bound to him that he can send in to the fight, right? So many people, without any "skin in the game" are always so willing to send in Sam and all the men and women bound to him, never realizing that those men and women Sam controls are already stretched so thin, are already exhausted and spent and have nothing to give after 10 years of war with that bossy, demanding, hard-ass Sam. Funny--those voices never seem to volunteer their own husbands/wives/sons/daughters to join Sam's gang and help out, but they sure are quick to volunteer mine. Makes a second wife a little bitter.

Like all good second wives, though, I must maintain my composure. I have to put on my brave face and pretend that, although I am sick and tired of that stinkin' Sam, everything is fine on the home front. I have to swallow my anger and jealousy and surrender my husband to that other spouse with grace and love and support. I have to be patient and tolerant and supportive to the needs of Sam, which are always far superior and more important than my own petty needs for companionship. And most of all, I have to persevere, knowing that as soon as he can disentangle himself from that bossy fiend, my love will come bounding home to me.


wilderlamb said...

Angela, I can not even imagine how hard that is. You are a better woman than I would be! Hang in there!
This is Nicole, by the way.

Becky said...

You guys are always in our thoughts and prayers. You are such an amazing woman and I am completely in awe of you.

Want to hear more about the Pack?

Check out A Belly in Bloom, a page devoted to Angela's pregnancy with Aubrey. You can see belly pics, sonograms, and learn more about how Aubrey (formerly known as "The Bean") came to be the lovely little girl she is! You can also find Angela's favorite recipes and newest food experiments at Cooking with the Parker Pack.